“A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” Proverbs 27:9

How to Cultivate Community One Cup at a Time

If you missed the first post in my Cultivate Hospitality series, you may want to click here and read the foundational “why”. The purpose of hospitality is to cultivate community, to use hospitality as a means to encourage one another toward godliness, toward love and good works. (1 Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 10:24-26.)

Our goal is to cultivate community.

A place where people feel they belong.

Somewhere to safely express burdens, feelings, thoughts.

A haven of encouragement, empathy, and support.

Community where growth happens, where strength, hope, and love are shared.

Yet…sometimes hospitality seems hard, overwhelming, intimidating, expensive, invasive. Perhaps we don’t feel we have enough space or money or time. Maybe we don’t enjoy cooking, or we’re shy, or have a tiny home or many children or responsibilities. And sometimes we simply have no clue how to cultivate community.

So today I’d like to talk about a simple way to embrace hospitality. We’ll call it…

Teacup Hospitality

This approach to hospitality addresses several obstacles, and can be accomplished with little expense or fuss. Teacup hospitality actually started when my local daughter-in-love suggested that we meet once a week for tea. We also invited my momma (who almost always comes) and sister (who hasn’t been able to fit it into her bursting-at-the-seams life…yet).

This tea date became an anticipated moment in our week. Soon, it actually began bringing us closer. It has changed somewhat as we flex with our circumstances, but it remains a constant source of joy.

Invite Someone to Meet You at a Cafe for Tea

There are several advantages to this approach. There’s no need to rush around to make your home company-ready. It doesn’t disrupt your home or family, and your schedule is under your control: when it’s time to end the tea date, you simply say goodbye and leave. No fear that your 9 a.m. meeting will extend until dinnertime!

Meeting at a local cafe also has the advantage of supporting local business. The atmosphere is generally calm and restful, conducive to good conversation. We have met at the bookstore cafe so I could do some book research, and once we enjoyed a concert by a local band while we sipped tea. So many fun tea-drinking memories!

If your budget is tight and you can’t afford a coffee shop? Invite your friend to meet you at a park and bring some tea in a thermos! This would work especially well if you have young children. They can squirm and run off some energy while you have a chat with a friend.

Welcome a Friend Into Your Home

Just call up a friend and ask them to come on over! This has the advantage of being inexpensive. A pot of tea or coffee is easily affordable. Don’t feel you have to serve any food or make it a big production. However, if you want to add a treat, keep it simple. A homemade or purchased muffin, or cookie, a few crackers and slices of cheese, or some fresh fruit are all lovely offerings.

One of my favorite gatherings to host is a fancy tea party, complete with scones and beautiful teapots and china cups and saucers, and I plan to write a post about the Tea Party soon. However, that sort of party is for the person who enjoys it; if you get stressed out by fancy…then keep it simple. Remember, it’s about growing friendships and encouraging one another, not about impressing.

Another advantage to the at-home tea date is the coziness and privacy. If your friend is bearing a heavy burden, she’ll feel more comfortable opening her heart and perhaps becoming emotional in the welcoming shelter of your home.

Due to a change in my work situation, the weekly tea dates with my mom and daughter-in-love are now held at my home so I’m available to answer my husband’s work phone. Sometimes we watch a movie together, or play Scrabble. Different location, same end result: time spent together.

Cultivate Community by Starting a Coffee Club

My dear lifelong friend Valerie recently retired and had a desire to spend more time investing in relationships. She decided to start a Coffee Club in her home. Valerie extended an invitation on her Facebook page to anyone who wanted to join her for coffee each week at a set day and time.

She tidied the kitchen and brewed a pot of coffee.

And they came.

The ladies share their testimonies, spend time in prayer, laugh, chat, and encourage one another. Within a short period, the Coffee Club became a community of love, compassion, shared wisdom, and hope. Val started a Facebook page specifically for the Coffee Club where she shares announcements, prayer requests, Scripture, and general encouragement. I’m a member of the Facebook group, so I am blessed by the ladies in the group even though I live many miles away.

Just like that you can Cultivate Community. One cup at a time.

Don’t Forget Your Family!

As we cultivate community, let’s remember Tea Cup Hospitality is also for family. Have a Tea Party for Saturday morning breakfast. Take the teapot out on the patio and savor some conversation on a lovely summer evening. Take time to savor dessert time on a normal weekday evening, chatting and cultivating community with those we love the most.

A friend of mine shared that as she was growing up, her mom had tea time with the children every afternoon when they returned home from school. They used a lovely teapot and each child chose a cup and saucer from Mom’s collection. When my friend married, her mom gave her a set of teacups from my friend’s favorite pattern. What wonderful memories that will last a lifetime!

I think an important component to building strong community and lasting memories is repetition. Inviting someone over for a cup of tea once is a lovely gesture. Turning your tea time into a regular ritual, a tradition? That’s where community begins to happen. It takes time.

Are You Ready to Cultivate Community?

I hope you are encouraged to take a small step into hospitality. Invite your neighbor over this week. Ask a few ladies from church to join you for tea: new ladies, teens, young moms in need of encouragement, single women, widowed women. Even if you feel you have plenty of friends? I can guarantee there are women all around you who are lonely, women longing for community. My friend and blog mentor Blair wrote a lovely post about the need to reach out, and I’ll link it at the end of my post. Don’t miss it!

I invite you to decide right here and now how you will offer hospitality to someone in the next week. Please share in the comments or any of my social media posts how you plan to cultivate community.

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Recommended Reading

Gracious Hospitality | A Grandparent’s Influence

Cultivate Hospitality | How to Love Your Neighbor

Cultivate | Word of the Year

Cuppa Comprehensive | Tea & Gift Guide

*Assume She’s Lonely* by Blair Blogs

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